Our morning training sessions are proving incredibly useful for honing what I need to work on to improve the way I communicate, i.e. to increase my awareness of myself and others. A theme that's emerging is the importance of attending to my physical experience. I tend to try to avoid the feelings that arise in situations I find difficult or uncomfortable (e.g. conflict). The theory is that feelings we find it hard to accept or be aware of locate in the body as discomfort. Not wanting to feel the discomfort, I lose awareness of my physical body, and when I communicate from that state people often tell me they don't find it very authentic. They sense there's something else going on for me - something is unspoken. I am experimenting with trying to bring my attention to my centre and my breathing more, especially when waiting for the door to be answered. Of course this is nothing new - it's JUST A QUESTION OF MAKING SURE I ACTUALLY DO IT.Speaking of things unspoken, I've had a few experiences of not knowing what to say when someone answers the door. At least I am learning to be able to laugh at it and acknowledge "This feels a bit awkward doesn't it" as I stand there with my mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out. Manjusvara said it may be a sign that there isn't anything to say, or that I am trying to say to much.
